Say it the way you want it

Good communication is everything in the workplace. Although a recent poll found that 91% of employees said their leader lack communication skills, it is something that everyone can strive to do better.

We asked communication expert Maria Wright for some tips to get the best out of your communication

When you are having a conversation with someone, do you find that the person you are talking to listens to what you say in a completely different way to what you intended? Do you ever feel that what you have said has been lost in the translation?

How many times have you had your text and email messages misunderstood by others? Have you ever taken a different meaning from a text than the meaning which was intended by the person writing it? How many arguments have been created through the meaning being lost in translation?

The responsibility for your communication is with you. By becoming aware of how the words that you use both verbally and written can be perceived by others and the meaning they may take from it will transform your communication.

An example of this is when setting goals. Researchers discovered that a goal which is positively stated is more likely to be accomplished than one that is negatively stated.

However, the words you use are just 7% of your total communication. The balance is made up of 55%, physiology and 38%, your voice qualities. This means that 93% of your communication is beyond words.

So, the words you use and, more importantly, how you use those words and how you behave are fundamental to achieving your goals. Think about a time when you have really wanted something to happen, have you ever used the phrase ‘I might do that’ or ‘I will might try that’, and did you ever get what you wanted? Using phrases such as ‘I will do that’ will transform that achievement of your goals.

Your unconscious mind will only process positive statements and will delete negative statements. When you say for example ‘I do not want to do this’, your unconscious mind only hears ‘I do want to do this’ and will carry out the instruction it is given.

5 Top Tips for Communicating in the Workplace

  1.     Speak in the positive.
  2.     Be mindful of your body language – is what you are saying matching up with your physiology?
  3.     Be mindful of the other person’s body language – does it change when you have said something they like or don’t like?
  4.     Get to know how the person’s communication style:
    •      do they need you to show them?
    •      do they need you to tell them?
    •      do they need to feel comfortable with what you are wanting?
    •      do they need you to provide them with more logic?
  1.     Be open to asking for feedback on the understanding of your communication and make changes depending on that feedback.

Saying what you want in a positive way will transform your communication.

 

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Maria Wright is a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Certified International Trainer of NLP, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Coach and Therapist.  She has worked for over 15 years delivering NLP training, business consultancy and working in her private therapy practice.

Maria works with a wide range of one to one clients, businesses, and in the community.  Find out more at www.changeu.co.uk

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